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Craig Brown for the Daily Mail The Prime Order Of Pundits, or Poop, pandora discount held a conference following last week's general election results.

Before the conference, the organisers had confidently predicted that 200 pundits would attend. In the event, 20 turned up. 'Our prediction of delegate numbers may have been out by a few percentage points,' said the general secretary, Max Wordage. 'But, on pandora charms buy the whole, I think we got the figures broadly right. We were well within the margin what is a pandora bracelet of error. And, of course, no one could possibly have foreseen that so many people would fail to turn up.'The week before last, I went to see Count Arthur Strong at the London Palladium. For those of you who have yet to make his acquaintance, Count Arthur Strong is or at least appears to be a veteran variety artiste, who enjoys a drop to drink, has a tendency to muddle his words, and is cursed with a memory that authentic pandora beads is not quite what it was. After a refreshing glass of what he insisted was Lucozade, Count Arthur brought out two dummies. King Tut is an Egyptian mummy so heavily bandaged that he can only answer 'Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!' to any question. Sulky Monkey is reluctant to talk at all.

A moment of comic genius came when Count Arthur forgot that he was the ventriloquist and waited for minutes on end for his dummy to say something. Ventriloquism, once so tired and old hat, has now turned into one of the liveliest and most inventive of all the performance arts. Lord Charles must be spinning in his suitcase.


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